Opening Ourselves to New Thinking in a Circle of Trust

By Cheryl Lockhart

There is something about sitting in a circle with a small group of people that can feel intimate. Recently, I had that experience at ABPC’s Mindful Facilitator Institute held at Children’s Harbor on Lake Martin in Alexander City, Alabama.

We were participating in a fish bowl discussion where questions are posed and conversation occurs among an “inner circle” of people, while other colleagues sit in an outer ring, listening closely to what is being talked about.

It was the last activity of a very busy day of learning. Our fish bowl discourse was based on some reading we had previously done about our individual established beliefs and how we might allow ourselves to be open to new thinking that could be very different from what we currently think or believe.

As I sat in the outer ring, one participant in the circle mentioned that we all come together for these professional learning experiences with a personal suitcase filled with our own experiences, troubles, challenges, hopes, and dreams.

The content of my suitcase does not match the suitcase of any other person in the room. We are all very different. However, those differences need to be valued in a way that allows each of us to feel safe enough to share what’s inside our personal carrying case.

Opening ourselves to new thinking

As I continued to listen to people share about being open to new thinking, I was reminded of a time years ago where I gathered a group of 5th-grade girls together in a circle on the floor. My next door colleague took the boys outside with her class. The girls and I needed to have some conversation about what it meant to care about each other and treat each other with respect.

As sometimes happens, the girls had begun to form cliques that were alienating others and causing hurt feelings. I decided it was time to bring these problems to light and to recognize the damage that had been caused.

Sitting quietly beside me was a 5th-grade girl who had not been involved in the issues at all. In fact, she had never given me a minute’s problem. She was a child with albinism and a severe vision impairment that had her holding reading material inches from her face, even though she wore dark, thick glasses. I’ll call her “Jane”.

We were finishing up with our discussion and the girls had come to a consensus about respectful ways to treat each other and promises for better behavior when I asked if anyone had anything else they needed to say inside our circle before we finished. Jane,  almost in a whisper, said “I do.”

“You know…it’s hard to sit at lunch when everyone is talking, but no one is talking to you.”

There was a silence that cut like a knife through the room. I felt immediate responsibility as the teacher for not noticing that one of my own students was being completely ignored by others in the class. The girls were as shocked as I was. They had not realized the total effect of their cliquish behaviors on the person who needed friends the most. What a pivotal moment for all of us.

What happens when we trust

I’m not sure there is anything magical about a circle, but it did create an atmosphere of intimacy where a hurting girl could gain the confidence to share something hidden in her suitcase.

It was the beginning of a change for Jane. Because of her bravery in speaking about her feelings, the other girls in the class began to fight over who would sit by Jane. Her mother even spoke of the difference she had noticed in her attitude about school.

As a teacher, I learned a valuable lesson that day in the circle, which I carry with me in my work as an Instructional Partner. Unpacking a suitcase can be difficult, but it can also be life-changing. It can help us open ourselves to new ideas and understandings.

We just have to be brave enough to take the risk.

Cheryl Lockhart is the Instructional Partner at McBride Elementary in the Muscle Shoals City Schools, where she taught 5th graders (both self-contained and departmentalized reading and language) for 14 years. She has also been honored as Northwest Alabama Reading Teacher of the Year.