Self Care Is Something We Do for All Those We Love and Serve

I received this email from a dear friend last night:

“I’m sorry if I seemed short today on the phone. Going back and getting ready for school is almost putting me in the fetal position at the end of each day. And, while that may seem dramatic, it’s true.”

This is an incredibly stressful time…for teachers and administrators, students, parents, others involved in education. The landscape seems to change hourly as we wonder whether another Covid case will be detected in our school, district, neighborhood, or home.

We worry about students being afraid of coming to school, or how they’ll get through a school day wearing a mask. And, we worry about the same thing when it comes to the adults serving these students.

We worry about students who are in school via the internet, and we hope that they have both the tools as well as the support needed from their teacher, parents, or other caretakers. We worry not only about their academic needs, but also their social-and-emotional needs.

These worries are real and are not going away any time soon. So, it is important to make our own self-care a priority.

Our Virtual Oxygen Mask

I hear this metaphor almost daily from others and think it is worth repeating. We need to put on our “virtual oxygen mask” before we can help others. As busy as we are, we must carve out some time for ourselves.

For me, it’s walking when I first get up and again at the end of the workday. My evening walk signifies a passage back into time with my husband, for a nice dinner, and for personal reading. Music is my “drug” of choice and the earbuds are in when I’m walking.

Yesterday, as I walked, when I heard a song by a band that I had seen in concert, I visualized that concert and how much fun I had at that time. As I walk and listen, I can feel my body begin to relax as the worries are abated…at least for a while.

Self-Care: Taking Ourselves Off the Shelf

Having a regimen, based on your interests, can help you address this stressful time. The authors of the book we are using this year for the Powerful Conversations Network have some suggestions that are worth considering.

Kristin Van Marter Souers, the lead author of Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners, and her co-author retired principal Pete Hall, urge educators to “take themselves off the shelf,” and suggest that we can’t expect those who we serve – our students and their families – to be healthy if we don’t do the same. They point to four important elements of self-care: health, love, competence, and intentionality.

• Health: Exercising 40 minutes at least three times per week.
• Love: “Do whatever you need to make sure you feel happy and rewarded for being the special person you are. Take a bath, read a book, invite a friend to get a [virtual?] coffee, opt to spend time with family instead of cramming in a work project (p. 196).”
• Competence: Challenge yourself in healthy ways. That might mean saying “no” to a request when your plate is full, picking up a new hobby, committing to exercising, or other steps that help you grow.
• Gratitude: One routine that my husband and I try to keep is sharing three things we are grateful for each day. And, those three things are different each day and are usually very “granular.” For example, yesterday, I was up early and saw the sun rise. The colors of the sky were breathtaking, featuring lavender, blue, and pink hues. I stopped, maybe for only a minute or so, to marvel at the natural beauty and I could hardly wait to share that image with Rick.

The Self-Care Box

Souers and Hall created a self-care checklist that I’ve adapted below for your consideration and use. You might make further adaptations to fit your particular needs.

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Take a Deep Breath. You’re Not That Late!

During this upside-down time, stress is inevitable. Try not to be like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, who runs around complaining that “I’m late, I’m late.” Instead, take a deep breath, and give yourself a short break to take care of your immediate need to relax. It might be closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths, or going on a short walk, or calling (zooming?) with a dear friend, or listening to a favorite song.

By taking care of yourself, you’ll be able to take care of others. And remember, we will get through this. Take good care of yourself.

Share some tips in the comment box about what you do to keep healthy and refreshed!